Yesterday we took our 18 year old son to college.  It is sort of a rite of passage that all parents eventually go through.   Some miss the college opportunity due to death, illness, troubled children, or those who go directly to the job market or continue to live at home.   I know I am not the first to experience this or the last, we all have to deal with separation at some point.

Those of you who have older children and have been through the college drop-off know what it is like.   I have written two very emotional posts about this in the past few days.  A First! and College Drop-offs-Not For Sissies!  I thought  a more lighthearted post about the experience was in order.

We had the car packed.  The trunk and the back seat were full.  Only about 10 inches of area available to squeeze my butt into the car.  I usually get the back seat since I don’t get car sick riding there.

 College Freshman

We arrived on Campus and Neal picked up his keys to his dorm and got his ID badge.  It was official….he was a college freshman.

Move-In

Then off to his dorm room to move him in.    I must say this was much more pleasant than I anticipated.   They had lots of older Juniata students available to help carry crates, bags, boxes, etc. to his room.   So we each only had to make one trip.

Then the whilrwind if setting up his side of the room.  His favorite color is blue, so he went with a blue plaid sheet set with a blue comforter.   It was too hot and humid to even consider the comforter so in the closet it went.  Neal and I made up the bed, Neal and Michael moved some of the furniture around and set up his TV.  I unpacked clothes and put them in drawers and closet.  Neal decided to relax and read how to connect to the internet.

Within 45 minutes he was moved in, unpacked and ready for an awesome semester.

Welcome Class of 2018

Then we set off for the picnic area.   They had tents set up and served a picnic lunch to all parents and freshman, hamburgers, hotdogs, baked beans, pasta salad, fresh fruit salad, cookies, ice cream, soda, and water.   Then there was some time to look around, go to the book store to pick up a few things and then go to the welcome ceremony.

Saying Good-bye

I have to say I loved the way Juniata College handles parent goodbyes!  If I had to leave with him in a dorm room alone, I would have been a sobbing fool.   Neal would have had to push me out the door and Mike would have had to drag me away.   But Juniata College has it orchestrated to take the sting away!

Parents and students are in this welcome ceremony together talking about things and then they tell parents, “It is now time to say goodbye.  You can go out in the hallway, porch, yard, etc. and say goodbye.   Students, you need to be back here for the remainder of the meeting in 15 minutes.”   So you have a short time interval to file out of the auditorium, get to a place where you can talk a bit, say your goodbyes, and then watch your child go back to where he needs to be.   We had time to hug, say goodbye, give a few words of advice, hug again, say goodbye again and he was gone.   I shed a few tears, but no big sobs!   They were kept inside.    Had we been in private, I’m sure they would have turned me into a blubbering fool, but we were standing on the steps, surrounded by others doing the same thing.    Our kids were anxious to go back in and kick off a four-day adventure to start their freshman year.   It made it much easier to leave.

So kudos again to Juniata College for making the process as easy as possible.     We walked to the car.  We had decided in advance we were not going straight home to a quiet, empty house.   We planned to do some shopping and eat dinner out.   It was a quiet ride to Altoona.   I felt exhausted, emotionally drained I guess.    Felt better as the day progressed.   About two hours after leaving Neal we got a text saying his roommate was cool, they had the internet all working and everything was good.   Then another saying his hiking group was great and he was having fun.   So I felt better knowing things were going well for him.  We haven’t heard from him since.  So I’m sure he is enjoying the experience.

While him not being home is NOT fun!  I know it is what is best for him and it needs to be this way.   We spend 18 years raising our children to be independent and able to make good decisions and then we feel sad when they do just that.  What a crazy world we humans have created.  How can we be happy and sad at the same time?    I never thought it was possible, but it is.

Have you gone through this?  Any advice?   How did you handle the separation?